Christian Poulsen to Fulham
The Times report that the West London outfit have been given the opportunity to sign the Juventus midfielder, who has turned down a £6m move to Fenerbahçe.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The Dane may be holding out for a move to the Premier League, but he won’t get the hero’s welcome he could have expected in Turkey.

Andriy Voronin to Hull
After losing out on Michael Owen, Phil Brown could make a move for Liverpool’s pony-tailed Ukrainian, according to the Mirror. Much like the arrangement that saw him return to the Bundesliga with Hertha Berlin last season, he could initally become a Tiger on a loan deal.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Given his impressive form at the aforementioned German side last term, he may be a better option for Hull than Bobby Zamora.

John Terry to Manchester City
Like success-hungry mounties, the Citizens are determined to get their man. The Daily Mail believe the Manchester side will increase their rejected £32m offer to £40m, while other sources suggest wages of around £200,000-per-week. That’s enough to cover an awful lot of disabled parking fines.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Lampsie is quoted in this morning’s Sun as saying Mr Chelsea will go down as a Blues legend whatever his decision, suggesting that the move is not out of the question. We’re still not convinced it will happen though.

It certainly seems to be raining shit on Newcastle at the moment. Not only do they prepare themselves for the forthcoming Championship season with an uncertain management team, a restless squad and a dreadful away strip, but owner Mike Ashley has taken a fiscal pounding thanks to his underperforming sportswear chain.

Sports Direct, the company in which the rotund businessman owns a 71 per cent share, has suffered a 91 per cent fall in pre-tax profits. Earnings fell from £118.9m to £10.7m this year, even though revenues topped £1bn and sales were up 5.1 per cent.

The huge downturn is a result of the collapse of Icelandic bank Kaupthing Singer & Friedlander (KSF) – the very same organisation that ruined former West Ham owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson. The collapse caused the sports retailer to write-off a staggering £53.1 million of shares, which is an awful lot of hoodies and baseball caps. The Times explains:

The write-down arose because the shares were held on Sports Direct’s behalf by KSF, and partly financed by the now stricken Icelandic bank. When KSF went into administration on October of last year, the shares it bought on behalf of Mr Ashley were frozen.

Sports Direct said it was “in dispute” with KSF’s administrators, Ernst & Young, as to the true ownership of the shares. But, while that battle continues, the retailer said that it had to take account the fact that it did not have full control over the shareholdings.

Sports Direct finished the financial year with a net debt of £431m, and shareholders were delighted to hear that their final dividend has been scrapped in order to save £21m.

While the fall in profits is devastating news for Mr Ashley, it could be viewed as positive news for the Toon Army. With so few pennies lining his coffers, the maligned owner could be forced to accept a much lower offer for the club in the very near future…

As his place in the Inter Milan first team becomes increasingly uncertain, Patrick Vieira has been linked with a move back to the Premier League. After dismissing the advances of Birmingham, the 33-year-old Frenchman is said to be entertaining the prospect of joining Tottenham on a one year pay-as-you-play contract.

The Daily Mail believe he is so keen to work with ‘Arry that he is willing to accept around £35,000-a-week, a huge drop from his Internazionale wages. The Mail also took a leaf out of the Sun’s book by completely fabricating a source reporting the words of a trusted friend:

‘This is not about money, this is about a chance to play.

‘He has great memories of his time in London at Arsenal but that is in the past. The deal is not completed but he has an open mind. He is not afraid of the challenge from Spurs.’

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: In a disappointing week for transfer news, we would normally take this rumour as a speculative attempt to fill column inches. However, The Spoiler’s mole at Tottenham told us this transfer would happen two days ago, so we are fairly confident that the White Hart Lane faithful will be welcoming a Gunners hero at the start of the new season.

Emmanuel Adebayor to Manchester City
Mark Hughes has confirmed holding talks with Arsenal over signing the Togolese striker and Sky Sports sources – which proved accurate yesterday – believe he will have a work permit hearing in Manchester tomorrow.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: If the reported £25 million fee is correct then Arsenal couldn’t really turn it down. It will be interesting to see if the majority of the money gets spent on a striker, a holding midfielder or nobody.

Klaas Jan Huntelaar to Spurs
Real Madrid say that talks to sell Huntelaar to Stuttgart are at an “advanced stage” but The Daily Mail fancy Spurs to make an eleventh hour bid.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: It could prove too late to enter the race but if they do, Huntelaar will have a tough decision to make. Stuttgart are in the Champions League but it’s reported that Spurs would pay bigger wages.

James Collins to Sunderland
The Daily Mail claim that Steve Bruce will continue reuniting members of West Ham’s 2006-07 Great Escape back four by spending £5 million to add Collins to a defence already containing George McCartney and Anton Ferdinand. The Black Cats have previously been linked with Lucas Neill too.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Collins is probably no longer first-choice given James Tomkins’ form towards the end of last season but the popular centre-back has always been willing to fight for his place.

David Beckham to Manchester City
After Landon Donovan’s best friend said he would be open to a return to the Premier League, the Citizens have become the front runners for his signature when he returns from MLS purgatory. No one at the club has admitted a move for the former England captain is on the cards, but he would fit into their “strategic plan to become a global brand”.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: We think Ancelotti’s Chelsea would have a better shout, but Beckham has always said his heart is in Manchester…

Gareth Bale to Roma
Despite having never won a Premier League match in which he has started, the 19-year-old Welshman has won the affections of AC Milan and Roma, say The Mirror. The latter are said to be leading the chase, and may take advantage of a loan or cash deal.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: If Roma are genuinely interested, Harry Redknapp would probably drive him to the airport himself.

Abbey Clancy’s boyfriend to Fulham
The Sun believe Crouchie will be on his way to West London if the Cottagers can extract £6m from Hull from the services of Bobby Zamora. Just like potential suitors Sunderland, Fulham will offer £11m, but they can also boast the prospect of European football.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Prospective owner Sulaiman Al-Fahim may try to persuade him to stay, but after accusing the south coast club of “going backwards” last month, a move to London seems imminent.

We at The Spoiler have a soft spot for Carlos Tevez – how could you not love a man who dances like this and makes adverts like this?

The Manchester Utd fans who pleaded with Alex Ferguson to “sign him up” at the end of the season, however, do not feel quite the same way this morning. Not only has the striker joined their closest rivals, but he has raised a few eyebrows by claiming the United gaffer spoke with him only once during his time at Old Trafford:

“I was there for two years and Sir Alex never called or sent any text messages in that time.

“The only time he talked to me was after a match against Roma to discuss a situation about going to play for Argentina. It doesn’t seem that this is the way to treat a player in two years at the club. It doesn’t seem there is a line of communication.”

Aware of the sudden stench of lies and bitterness, The Spoiler immediately set about disproving this claim. We struck gold when we consulted our friends at Republik of Mancunia, who have compiled a list of Tevez quotes that suggest he is vastly exaggerating the lack of communication:

April 2nd 2009

“From the moment I arrived, he has treated me with respect as a person. His greatest quality is that, for him, there are no star players – everyone is equal, whether they cost many millions or are a young player who hasn’t played many times for the team. When I see him work he reminds me of Carlos Bianchi, who was my coach at Boca Juniors in Argentina. Both have had a big influence on my career, and both know how to treat people.”

January 4th 2009

“We have not started talks with Manchester United yet, though I am keen to stay. Sir Alex Ferguson has told me he wants me to remain a United player and that is certainly my desire too. My contract ends in the summer and we have agreed to sit down at the end of the season and discuss a new contract, nothing I have heard from the club suggests it will be otherwise. There is simply no reason to sit down now. I have a great relationship with Sir Alex and I hope that will continue long into the future.”

December 16th 2008

“We have been talking about it and everything is very advanced, as a consequence I think it will be sorted soon. I feel respected by my team-mates and by the staff.”

Would you care to explain your change of tune, Carlitos?